Teens and Culture

Raising teens in our crazy culture can feel like walking through a minefield, can't it? I send my teens to public school, and I'll tell you - it's crazy what they're exposed to on a daily basis.

In my kids' school, there is a heavy international emphasis (which is totally fine), and somehow this often translates into a heavy emphasis on Islam-the-peaceful-religion (which is not fine). Folks, I'm all for education, but I'm wholly and completely against misinformation.

There is also, at school, a great push for "diversity," which is also fine. But when that push for diversity becomes a push for my kids to embrace immoral behavior, that's not fine.

How to navigate such muddy waters?

First and foremost, the most important aspect of raising a teen is maintaining a positive relationship with your child. This can be challenging when their moods are swinging wildly out of control or when they seem to have lost their compass for a while... but constantly reaching out to them and letting them know they're loved is paramount. Growing up is hard work... and just like we, as parents, need some room to make mistakes now and then, our kids need room to breathe and figure things out.

Nurturing a strong relationship with our teens gives us more access to their daily lives. They are more likely to share both triumphs and challenges. They are more likely to tell us what is being said in school. They will definitely come to us for help when they feel desperate. The importance of a strong relationship cannot be overstated.

Second, we need to remain involved. Ask questions - not just of our teen, but also of the school - the church - the parents of friends. Read their textbooks and find out what they are learning. Read the book selections for their language arts classes. Don't be afraid to address concerns about the contents of the reading material (preferably without going over the top -- nobody likes a book burner).

Third, when our teen comes to us for advice or encouragement, try very hard not to give out overly negative reactions to anything they say. Remember they are growing up and working on figuring out this thing called life. If they are going to make a poor decision (you just know it) and it will not result in major injury or death, let them make it. You can offer your advice, but let them decide for themselves what they will choose. Then, without further comment, let them follow through on their choice. Then, with no "I told you so," let them experience the full effect. Never rescue them from the consequences. Remember, the very best parent is God. He offers his children free will - and he allows them to experiences the consequences. He offers His guidance and gives rules, but he does not control.

And last -- make sure your teen knows that you think they are worth your time and energy. Because they are.