Some people struggle with the fact that they are living in an unhappy environment. They didn't hit the lotto with their choice of spouse... their children are unmanageable... whatever the problem may be... and they look around at other homes that appear to be happy and think, "Why didn't I get that?" Call it the Big Bang Family Theory. They think that these families somehow simply experienced a Big Bang, and organization and happiness ensued.
Alas, just as the Big Bang Theory in science class is a ludicrous idea as to how an organized universe came to existence, the Big Bang Family Theory is ridiculous. Happy homes aren't born, they're formed. They're molded. They're created through direct action. There are a few simple steps a woman can take to encourage contentment in her home:
1. Family is... imperfect people living in an imperfect world with other imperfect people. Never forget that we are also imperfect. Getting too big for our britches and trying to control everything never ends well. Never.
2. Remember to be a servant - and enjoy it. Learn to appreciate the rewards of simply serving others. Regardless of what our strengths are in the home, there will always be some things we just don't enjoy doing. But training ourselves to see serving our families as an honor goes a long way to creating an atmosphere of contentment.
3. Welcome our husbands home at the end of their day. Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in whatever we have going on around the house that we forget our husbands need us, too. It doesn't take long to remember them and appreciate them for a moment.
4. Develop an attitude of positive encouragement for those around us. Whether we're guiding our first grader through homework, helping our teenager deal with the loss of their first love, or talking with our husband about a problem in our marriage, an attitude of positive encouragement will get us much further than nagging criticism. It will not only help to solve whatever problem we're dealing with faster, it will also go a long way in creating an atmosphere of contentment in our homes.
5. Offer forgiveness freely. Holding on to an offense hurts us, damages our families, and creates a constant undercurrent of tension in the home. Letting go of the hurt, forgiving, and moving on does the opposite.
6. Forget about "my way or the highway." Whether or not we get our own way doesn't really matter in the long run. Really. I'm serious. Even when it comes to something that feels incredibly important at the time, jump ten years into the future and look back on that "big deal" and you will see that it really wasn't that big a deal after all. If you're old enough to be reading this and stay with me this far, you're at least old enough to know that now - at the age of fifteen - it doesn't really matter that much that you didn't get the swing at recess. And if you've made it to 40, you know that now it doesn't really matter that you ended up camping instead of going to that hotel in Belize. And if you just read that and said, "Yes, it really does matter," refer back to #5.
7. Be truthful. It's not always easy to say what's true - but it should be a rule in our homes if we want contentment. Not being trustworthy damages relationships. All relationships.
8. Expect and accept the truth. Even more difficult than speaking the truth is hearing it. Let's face it, sometimes the truth about ourselves isn't all that fun. But if we have a spouse who is willing to tell us the truth, we should embrace it. It builds trust, and it can help us to see ourselves in a different light leading us to make positive changes.
9. Remain engaged, even when the going gets rough. It can be so tempting to pull away from family members who are presenting specific challenges to us at times. But pulling away is not a recipe for contentment or peace.
10. Never give up. 'Nuff said.
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